these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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