I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
