when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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