hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
