Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
