I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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