Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
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He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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