hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.