the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.