Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
