is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
they need to just BURY HIM!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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