omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
