So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
