I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize