Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize