Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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