That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
