Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
