They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
