I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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