it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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