i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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