i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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