Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
