I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
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i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
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$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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