That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
