the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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