I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Even my vagina gasped.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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