So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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