New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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