I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
