stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
