even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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