I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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