i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
