Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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