Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
