I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He called his prostate his "boner button".
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
