hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Your penis caused this!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize