I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize