i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
