I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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