your parents love me but you hate me
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize