he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
