You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
