That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My feet surprised me
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I think I just sharted jello shots
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