You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
