He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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