doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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