Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
