and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Of course I have a pirate flag
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
