In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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