I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
