I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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