he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
