Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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