That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
