I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
