If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
