this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
