I'm lost and stupid without you.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
